They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and for good reason. But eye contact reveals more about you, attraction and your relationship than you might think.
Direct and prolonged eye contact lies at the heart of human connection. It can fuel the flames of love and desire and help us to truly bond.
Breaking down the walls that we put up to protect ourselves from the outside world, from rejection and from judgement. Removing our mask and exposing our vulnerabilities.
Allowing us to truly connect.
When eyes meet and lock there is nowhere to hide. It’s when we’re at our most vulnerable. It’s when magic happens. It’s when we fall in lust and in love.
The Power of Eye Contact in Dating
In the early stages of courtship and dating eye contact has been shown to initiate social interactions and provide important non-verbal cues about your level of interest, intention and attraction. It has also affects how attractive, attentive confident, caring and dominate you come across.
The Science of Eye Contact
A Boston study researched the effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love. Participants were asked to have a two-minute casual conversation, with half the group being told to count how many times their partner blinked. When asked for feedback the subjects who had their blinking counted felt a much stronger connection, and fondness for their partners than the control group
In fact, prolonged eye contact has been associated with significantly stronger feelings of affection, liking and passionate love.
But that’s not all.
Prolonged eye contact sends a subconscious signal to the brain that you’re interested and a shot of the adrenaline like substance Phenylethylamine (released when we’re in love or lust) rushing through their veins.
The Power of Eye Contact in Long-Term Relationships
In long-term relationships, eye contact is one of the most powerful ways to express and increase intimacy and is directly related to your level of closeness and connection. In fact, locking eyes with the one you love on a regular basis has been shown to increase attractiveness, arousal and levels of relationship satisfaction, trust and bonding. It has also been shown to melt our stresses away. Decreasing cortisol and promoting a feeling of calm.
The perfect recipe for love.
So if you want to turn up the heat, test the waters or supercharge your relationship just increase the amount of eye contact that you’re making. Nothing increases genuine connection and trust whilst conveying confidence, empathy and openness like direct eye contact and a genuine smile. But holding someone’s gaze isn’t comfortable for everyone.
Moving Past the Discomfort
In fact, most people look away or avoid eye contact when they’re feeling nervous or completely out of their depth.
If the thought of making eye contact and smiling fills you with dread, there is some good news. In one study people who made direct eye contact and smiled in the first and last minute of an interview were more likely to be remembered for the right reasons than those who didn’t. Regardless of whether they smiled during the rest of the interview or not.
Remember to Smile
When you’re getting your flirt-on and increasing eye contact always remember to smile so that your intentions are clear. Phenylethylamine is also released during fight or flight which is why intense eye contact, staring or eye contact without a smile can make people feel uncomfortable and uneasy. So remember to smile.
Smiling is a submissive gesture that says, “I won’t hurt you,” and provides an instant and infectious feel good boost, releasing a dose of endorphins, as well as dopamine and serotonin into your blood stream.
The simple act of making eye contact and smiling also makes us feel happier. And because our thoughts, emotions and physiology are all linked, this also affects our facial expressions, body language, posture and breathing, and that affects the way that we interact. Making us look and feel more approachable, friendly, competent, confident, persuasive and attractive.
Katia Loisel is an internationally recognised dating, relationship and body language expert with over 19 years experience in the TV Industry. She is the co-author of the bestselling How To Get The Man/Woman You Want and has conducted a widely published five-year global study into dating and mating patterns.
A sought after media commentator, spokesperson and host, Katia has been interviewed over 1,000 times by media outlets worldwide. Her production credits include programme creation, development and production of various dating and relationship related TV shows for the Australian and US market and a global online ‘how to’ campaign for the dating and relationship market that generated over 12 million views.
Katia is the Founder of The Love Destination, and is on a mission to empower and inspire, bringing more love and good news into the world.