There’s nothing quite as heart breaking as the gut wrenching agony of unrequited love or lust, and let’s face it, most of us have been there at least once, if not a few times.
You spend every waking moment together, have shared your deepest hopes and dreams and would be the perfect couple, if only they’d come to their senses.
What do you do when the one you want doesn’t want you back and how can you tell if it’s just a temporary setback?
Friends or Lovers? 14 Signs They Don’t Want to be More Than Friends
1. You bare your soul telling them exactly how you feel about them and they respond by telling you that you’re a great friend or shrug and run for the nearest exit.
2. They tell you they love you as a friend and don’t want to ruin the friendship (there’s no hidden message here, just friends means just that).
3. They tell you they wished they felt the same way.
4. You share a bed. You’re close enough to feel the rise and fall of their chest as they breathe, yet they don’t make a move.
5. They’ll kiss and cuddle but not in a sexual way.
Dating wasn’t meant to be this hard
6. They tell you they’ve been hurt and are unable to love because of their past relationships, troubled childhood, messy divorce, current marriage. (Read – unavailable.)
7. They sleep with you and then tell you it was a big mistake.
8. You’re always the one making the effort.
9. You drop them enough hints to sink a ship but they don’t seem to get it.
10. You’re not their type but they don’t know what their type is.
11. They tell you about the people they really fancy, (like your best friend).
12. They tell you they’re in love with their ex, (and carry a photo of them to prove it).
13. They’ve always got a reason why the two of you shouldn’t or can’t be together such as: they’re inundated at work, it wouldn’t be fair to you and you deserve better (the lamest excuse ever), it would be too much for their child, or they don’t think they’re capable of loving again.
14. You have a high amount of emotional intimacy but little physical intimacy.
You See the Warning Signs. Now What?
We know it can be confusing and hard to believe that they’re not interested when you’re being sent mixed messages and the one you want is blatantly flirting with you. How can they tell you they’re not interested but hold your hand, cuddle you and act as if there’s something more? Surely they’re just confused and they’ll come round, right?
If the warning signs are there don’t delude yourself into thinking that something will change. Miracles are possible but maybe not in this case. It might just be time to move on, after all, don’t you deserve someone who’ll love and cherish you as much as you do them?
If you still believe that true love will reign, wait for them to make the next move. If you’ve told them how you feel, they’ve got the message loud and clear. Giving them a daily reminder of what they’re missing out on isn’t going to make them crawl back, but it might just push them further away. After all, would you want someone who was desperate for your love and affection when you didn’t feel the same way? We didn’t think so.
An extract from How to get the man you want / How to get the woman you want written by Katia Loisel and Paul Morris Segal. Get your copy now.
Katia Loisel is an internationally recognised dating, relationship and body language expert with over 19 years experience in the TV Industry. She is the co-author of the bestselling How To Get The Man/Woman You Want and has conducted a widely published five-year global study into dating and mating patterns.
A sought after media commentator, spokesperson and host, Katia has been interviewed over 1,000 times by media outlets worldwide. Her production credits include programme creation, development and production of various dating and relationship related TV shows for the Australian and US market and a global online ‘how to’ campaign for the dating and relationship market that generated over 12 million views.
Katia is the Founder of The Love Destination, and is on a mission to empower and inspire, bringing more love and good news into the world.