Everybody wants to find their soul mate.
We all think we know exactly who they are, on paper anyways. They’re a certain age, height, build, and have a particular hair and eye colour. They’re smart, funny, kind to animals, love children, love long walks on the beach…
They have steady jobs and make good money. They love their family and share your values. Your family and friends just adore them and you cannot wait to make beautiful babies with them.
Well, how do you go about attracting this perfect specimen? Isn’t he/she essentially the same person everybody on the planet wants? If we all got our idea of the perfect mate we’d all be dating Johnny Depp, and as far as I know, there’s only one, and he’s taken.
What or rather, Who are you attracting?
Every relationship is a mirror; you attract what you send out. If you’re not attracting your idea of the perfect mate, it’s not about this elusive ‘mate’ it’s about YOU!
You can’t be a slob and expect a spic and span house. You can’t be lazy and expect a perfect physique. You can’t be 40 and expect to appear 20. You get where I’m going? You can train yourself not to be a lazy or a slob, and you can try to appear 20, (emphasis on try,) but you’re really not fooling anyone.
You have to know yourself and love yourself. You can change bad habits, they’re behavioral, that’s doable. You can change physical ‘flaws’ too, but, ask yourself, are they flaws? Who told you they were flaws? Magazines? TV? That is learned, not instinctive, that can be changed too. The best way to turn your flaws into blessings is to STOP looking at them like flaws.
If your ideal man is going to be ‘turned off’ by what you perceive as a physical flaw, you need to add a line or three to your description of soul mate to include; ‘someone who loves me for who I am.’ More importantly; you need to realize that if this is the kind of thing that turns you off, then you are being superficial, and are therefore sending out that energy. Superficial will never attract Authentic. It’s against the Laws of the Universe.
You know that saying ‘Be the Change you Want to See in the World?’ Apply that concept to your quest for your soul mate, you’ll be very pleasantly surprised at the results.
Laura Bilotta is a dating coach, matchmaker, TV Personality and the co-founder of successful dating website Single in the City dot ca. Laura established Single in the City in 2002.
Since its early beginnings twelve years ago, Laura’s efforts and expertise have allowed Single in the City to become one of the largest event based dating companies in the Greater Toronto Area. Laura’s expert knowledge of dating etiquette, relationships, and human behaviour form the base of her experience. She has hosted over one-thousand speed dating/mixer events, coached more than one-hundred men and women into dating gurus, and she has proudly played matchmaker for countless love-seeking singles. In 2009, Laura was the co-host of Rogers Television show “Dating 201”. She currently hosts Single in the City the TV Talk Show on Rogers TV Peel.