We often put so much pressure on ourselves before a date, particularly if it’s with someone we really like. But dating doesn’t have to be nerve wracking. Here are my 5 tips to help you mentally prepare for a date. Have fun! Love Katia
Visualise yourself having a great time:
Visualisation and rehearsal techniques are particularly effective when it comes to improving communication skills and body language, by creating an emotional and muscular memory or blueprint for success.
First, bring your focus to your body and breath before adopting high power and low status posture so that you get a muscular memory of what each position feels like and the effect it has on how you feel. Remember a time when you felt confident interacting with new people. Remember how you held yourself, how it felt and how people reacted to you. Focussing on the high power posture visualise yourself on the date, successfully flirting with confidence.
Change your body language:
For an instant confidence and feel good boost change your body language. Your posture can have a dramatic positive or negative effect on the way you feel, look and act. Research from Columbia and Harvard Universities (published in Psychological Science) found that adopting a high power position (open upright posture, wide stance, chin held up and arms and legs uncrossed) for a period of just one-minute decreases levels of the stress hormone cortisol, whilst increasing levels of testosterone, feelings of confidence and power. In contrast, adopting a low status position can make you feel more anxious and less confident.
Relax and breathe:
If you’re so nervous you can barely remember your own name, relax and breathe. Slow, rhythmic breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system reducing our heart rate, and our nerves, making us feel, look and sound more confident.
Give yourself a pep talk and remain positive:
Our thoughts, emotions and physiology are linked. Change what you’re thinking and / or feeling and you’ll change your body language, change your body language and you’ll change how you feel. So, if stress gets the better of you before your date or if you’re feeling completely out of your depth and overwhelmed with anxiety, simply thinking the words ‘We’re going to have fun, I’ve got this’ will dramatically change your non-verbal communication and how you feel.
Find some common ground and come prepared:
Last but not least, to make an unforgettable first impression, prepare for your date by finding some common ground and shared interests. You’ll shine the spotlight on them and help you both to feel more comfortable and relaxed.
Katia Loisel is an internationally recognised dating, relationship and body language expert with over 19 years experience in the TV Industry. She is the co-author of the bestselling How To Get The Man/Woman You Want and has conducted a widely published five-year global study into dating and mating patterns.
A sought after media commentator, spokesperson and host, Katia has been interviewed over 1,000 times by media outlets worldwide. Her production credits include programme creation, development and production of various dating and relationship related TV shows for the Australian and US market and a global online ‘how to’ campaign for the dating and relationship market that generated over 12 million views.
Katia is the Founder of The Love Destination, and is on a mission to empower and inspire, bringing more love and good news into the world.