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Ask an Expert Question: What is his body language saying? I really need your help to decode this!


So I went out the other day with a guy because he accompanied me to go back to college via public transport (we go to the same college). We spent around 1 hour and 30 minutes in the train and all along we sat next to each other.

What is his body language saying? I really need your help to decode this!

He kept on resting his thigh on mine even though there’s plenty of room to sit. He also noticed the little things about me. Complimented my bracelet, my ring and my watermelon printed socks. And he also mentioned that he has the same shirt that I was wearing.

He also carried my bag to put it somewhere else even though I told him I can do it myself and all he said was “It’s okay, its heavy anyways”. Then, after we went on the train, we went by bus. He rested his whole thigh on my thing the entire journey back. He also liked to see what I was doing on my phone and laughed whenever he caught me looking at cute pictures of boys.

What does this mean?

I really don’t know if all this means anything. It could just be me because he has a girlfriend. I really need your help to decode this! thankyou!


Ask an Expert Answer:

Hi Svenia,

Your problem is a common one. Decoding nonverbal communication and body language and deciphering someone’s intentions can be tricky. Particularly when you don’t know them very well and in your case, if that person is in a relationship.

Body Language can be Misinterpreted

The truth is, nonverbal signals can easily be misinterpreted, unless you know what to look for, so let’s start at the beginning. When it comes to the language of love, actions speak louder than words. However, many body gestures can have multiple meanings so it’s important to look for a combination of increased/decreased proximity, eye contact and touch (including self-touch and preening).

Body Language Cues Vary Depending on a Number of Factors

Secondly, body language cues can vary depending on the context or situation, timing of the movement or reaction, and the person’s personality. For example, some people are overly friendly (or downright flirtatious) with everyone they meet. Others are flirtatious with everyone except the person that they’re interested in, while some people are more comfortable being flirty when they’re in a relationship as they see it as a fun. What they see as a zero-risk flirtation (and ego boost).

What is their baseline?

To increase accuracy it’s important to know how they normally behave when they’re with others so that you have something to compare their behaviour to. The way they behave, or act and react most of the time is known as their baseline.

I know that it can be difficult to gauge this information from someone you’ve just met, but if you pay attention to how the act and react, you’ll soon get a feel for their baseline.

What is His Body Language Saying?

In saying that, in most cases an increase in touch, eye contact and proximity (they get closer) is an indication that the person likes and feels comfortable with you. It can also mean that they were flirting with you with the intention of wanting more, however, it can be difficult to tell without further details.

In saying that, here are the major signs that someone is interested or perhaps flirting with. The more signals you see, the more likely it is that they are more than just being friendly. If you want a lot more detail, then you can watch my Master the Body Language of Attraction course here at the Love Destination.

Increased proximity:

The more we like someone the closer we want to get. Pay attention if they reduce the personal space between you by moving closer to you, by repositioning themselves next to you, or moving into your personal space. They might do this by doing the whisper and lean, bringing their head closer to yours or moving an object into your personal space.

Increased touch:

The more they like you the more he’ll feel compelled to touch you. If they keep accidentally brushing past you, touching you or if they reposition their legs so that they’re nice and close, look out for what other signals they’re sending you.

Attraction also increases blood flow and sensitivity to touch. Look out for an increase in self-touch or any preening signals that might hint that they’re keen. When it comes to touch and attraction remember to apply the rule of 3 (in case they did accidentally brush past you).

Increased eye contact:

Whether they hold your gaze for what seems like forever, do the double take or face scan or just can’t keep they’re eyes off of you, intense or prolonged eye contact is a sure-fire sign that you’ve sparked their interest. But remember to always check out what the rest of their body is telling you before jumping to conclusions.

Their body will point towards you:

Where our feet point our hearts often follow so check out where their feet are pointing for a clue on who they’d secretly like to date.

He’ll make himself stand out:

When a guy likes you he’ll try to get your attention, and not always in a positive way!! He might stand in the alpha male stance (legs splayed, chest pushed with hands on his hips fingers pointing down) in order to accentuate his muscle tone and dominance. Or he might separate himself from the group, or draw attention to himself (yes sometimes by acting like a clown).

Trust Your Instincts

This is where it is important to trust your instincts. The majority of us are prewired to communicate nonverbally. To be able to instantly decipher a person’s body language, facial expressions and paralanguage (or the way that we speak). If something feels wrong, delve deeper (or walk away). Take a closer look at what their nonverbal communication is saying and in particular look for a cluster of signals.

If you’d like to learn more about the body language of flirting and attraction you can watch my Master the Body Language of Attraction course here at the Love Destination.

Good luck Svenia

Katia xo

Want More? Take Katia Loisel’s Online Courses on body language and dating right here at Love Destination.