Relationship lost its spark and wondering how important sex and intimacy really is in a relationship? In this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series, The Friendly Psychologist Jacqui Manning reveals why it’s important to reconnect physically with your partner and shares her 8 tips to help you increase intimacy with your partner.
Is Sex the Same as Intimacy?
“Sex and intimacy are two really important things in your primary relationship, but they are quite different. We often confuse the two and think that sex equals intimacy and intimacy equals sex,” reveals The Friendly Psychologist Jacqui Manning.
“Something that trips couples up is that often women need the intimate moments – that intimate connection where you feel like you’re important to someone, where you know someone intimately – to have sex, and men need sex to feel intimate with their partner. That’s a generalization, but it can be fairly true.”
So How Do We Increase the Physical and Emotional Intimacy In Our Relationship?
Manning suggests nurturing your connection both inside and outside of the bedroom. “You have to give each other time and attention in both areas and not expect to fall into bed with each other, perhaps if you’ve been arguing all day, because while one of you might feel like the two aren’t related, the other person will still be feeling resentful that you’ve had a critical kind of day; a day that hasn’t gone so well,” says Manning.
“Try and fuel your connection outside of the bedroom as well as inside of the bedroom, and talk about it. So don’t just ignore the problem, because it won’t go away if you’re feeling unconnected with each other.”
Build a Strong Foundation of Friendship
Think about each other as being a devoted friendship, so that friendship is key and base; however, you have the “sparkle” on top, which is the devotion; the sex; the intimate moments that you have with no one else in the world.
Focus on What You Love About Your Partner and Relationship
“By keeping mindful of that and what you do have rather than what you don’t have – what attracted you to each other in the beginning? What things do you like about your partner physically or emotionally? What makes you tick together?” Manning recommends.
“Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, but if you think back to when you first met and really focus on that for a little while – meditate on it, even – together, by thinking about it, it can really bring those sparkly joyful feelings back and you can feel more like a teen again.”
The Love Destination Expert Series is proudly brought to you by EK Life
Watch this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series as Jacqui Manning reveals why it’s important to reconnect physically with your partner.
Jacqui’s Ways to Increase Intimacy With Your Partner
- Recognize sex and intimacy are two different things – try and meet your needs in both areas.
- Be intimate by valuing each other as a person – talk about your day, your goals, your dreams, your thoughts.
- Make eye contact and be interested in your partner, not just the running of the household.
- Re-introduce the passionate kiss to your daily routine.
- Priorities the relationship between you and decide to spend connecting spend time together as a couple.
- Touch each other – hold hands, snuggle on the couch, cuddle naked, hold each other in bed.
- Pleasure each other – ask what would make your partner happy and then follow through.
- Give compliments when you’re getting your needs met and show appreciation for each other’s effort.
Jacqui Manning – aka The Friendly Psychologist – has been working as a psychologist for over 15 years, helping everyday people with a myriad of problems, most commonly relationship woes, and stress and anxiety problems at work and home.
She has a passion for encouraging everyone to value their emotional health and to break down the stigma of reaching out for help – to think of it as boosting their ‘psychological immune system’, and it is for this reason that Jacqui is regularly in the media to reach a wider audience with simple, effective and easy-to-understand tips – in print, on radio and TV.